Night Teeth Isn’t Juicy Enough to Sink Your Chompers In


By Kory Glover

Has anyone else noticed how much vampires have changed in modern entertainment the past few years? From Nosferatu to From Dusk till Dawn, there was a time when vampires were a feared force in the horror genre.

This mostly boils down to the fact that vampires are probably the most intelligent of the classic movie monsters. Zombies, pardon the pun, are essentially brainless, while werewolves react more on bloodlust than common sense. Vampires can manipulate you, gain your trust and lull you into a sense of comfort before sucking you dry like a juice box.

However, something changed in 1987 when The Lost Boys was released. This film kept most of what made vampires what they were, but the filmmakers made one crucial change that will forever change vampire movies. They made them desirable to a younger audience.

But not just desirable; rebellious, angsty, adventurous and basically anything to make them a symbol for being a teenager at that time. Eventually, this would lay the groundwork for similar films like Vampire Academy, Blade, Vampire in Brooklyn, and the infamous Twilight franchise.

Now, years later, we have Night Teeth. It’s a plot that promises a mix of From Dusk till Dawn with Collateral Damagethat, unfortunately, doesn’t take full advantage of its set-up.

Benny (Jorge Lendeborg Jr.) is everything a young economic major college student should be. He works hard, falls asleep in class, crushes on pretty girls, and has big dreams for his future. Moonlighting as a freelance chauffeur, he’s offered a job from his half-brother to drive around rich, young beauties Blaire and Zoe (Debby Ryan and Lucy Fry) to the hottest nightclubs in the city. Everything is going according to plan until he witnesses the girls’ secret plot to cause bloody mayhem across the city.

Unable to escape from the ladies, he needs to work out how to complete his job while staying alive until morning. All while the girls’ boss, Victor (Alfie Allen), is planning a hostile takeover of the city. From that premise, you know that this movie should be fun with some suspense thrown in there. Unfortunately, we’re still stuck in this era of vampire films where people want to sleep with vampires instead of killing them.

So, of course, Benny catches feelings for one of the girls, and she might feel a little something back. Oh, and there’s a subplot involving Benny’s brother Jay (Raúl Castillo) hunting Victor for revenge with other vampire hunters. Sorry, did I just gloss over that detail too quickly? Good, then it’s a perfect representation of the film.

Probably the biggest issue with this movie was the writing. While it couldn’t take the intriguing plot to new heights, it can also be really inconsistent, especially with Benny as the main protagonist. It’s hard to get a reading on what this guy’s motivation is throughout the film.

At some points, he’s trying to get away. At other times, he’s downright attacking other vampire hunters to protect the girls; and it comes right out of nowhere. It’s hard to get a read on what his end goal is or even root for him.

On the positive side, the actors are certainly trying to make something out of the nonsensical storytelling. Jorge Lendeborg Jr. could be a charming lead if he were given better material to work with, and Lucy Fry acts like she’s having the time of her life playing the sexy but deadly femme fatale role. Debby Ryan plays the love interest okay here, but I’m willing to bet if the script went all out on these two, she would have no problem yucking it up with her best gal pal.

Thankfully Halloween is just around the corner, so you’ll undoubtedly have a more significant pick of horror flicks to binge on. In the meantime, Night Teeth is a film you can skip.

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